Well, hello!

Long time, no write.  First, my computer bit the dust..two weeks ago maybe?  It’s a loaner laptop so I couldn’t really complain, or get it fixed on my own.  Got it back this past weekend, but with Easter vacation and a crazy shortened school week, I haven’t been online much at all.

So much has happened since the last time I was “here”.  My cousin’s baby shower went really well and on March 21st she welcomed a beautiful baby girl named Kenzee.  I got to see her while she was in labor, the day after the birth and on Easter too.  She’s such a beautiful little girl and looks a lot like her daddy.  While all that was going on my cousin who is stationed in Iraq arrived in our neck of the woods with another cousin and his mother for an impromtu visit.  Talk about shock when they show up at your doorstep unannounced!  Visiting with them all was too wonderful and I can’t wait until we can do it all again.

Our Easter break passed quickly with everything happening at once.  C and L spent Easter with their dad so it was just little old me joining my family for Easter lunch.  I have to say…it was boring without the kids.  Holidays just aren’t the same without them getting excited about all the little things.   On the Monday after Easter we took a long trek to visit my very BFF and her two daughters.  We got to spend the night and the kids’ wore each other out even if they didn’t pass out at bedtime like we anticipated.

The school week has been crazy since it was just 2.5 days.  I kept C home yesterday because of a sore throat and some congestion he had in the morning.  Took him in to be checked (in case of strep), but the PA didn’t think he had anything catchy or serious so she didn’t even do a culture.  I was a bit disappointed that she didn’t make sure, but he has seemed fine since yesterday afternoon with not even a hint of complaint.  I guess maybe he was just faking to get another vacation day?

Since today was a half day of school we spent an hour or so outside in the chilly March air to blow bubbles, play on the scooter and try out the skateboard C got for Christmas.  It wasn’t a big hit, but I think once he gets used to how it all works he’ll really enjoy it.  Both of the kids were glad for the fresh air and even though this isn’t my kind of weather I was glad for it too.  I probably need it more than they do considering how little I allow myself to be outside in the winter.

I’ve gotten into a spring cleaning kick the last two or three days.  I’ve been going through all sorts of things and disgarding what I consider to be garbage or unused.  I’m hoping to get into our basement and get some things out the door because it’s been piling up and it’s starting to drive me crazy.  Wish me luck!

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I am so unbelievably glad it’s Friday.  This week has just been hard for me and I’m looking forward to two days without school schedules, homework, pick ups, drop offs and the humdrum of the daily grind.   I’m hoping that the nice weather we’ve been having this week (sunny and in the 40’s & 50’s) will hold and that the kids and I will be able to enjoy some time outside.  I have no idea what we’ll do considering the melting icy/snow mess outside, but I’ll think of something.

I’ll be attending a baby shower this weekend for my cousin who is due in about 3 weeks with her first.  I’ve mildly helped with planning, though I don’t really believe I’ve been much help at all.  Provided she isn’t in the hospital for something on Saturday it should be fun.  We’ll be staying at my mom’s; so we’ll be crowded at best.  It also means I’ll have a chance to do some laundry so it’s not all bad.

I’m also going to try and teach the kids how to use the Wii while we are there.  I’ve never had so much fun bowling in my entire life.  That little remote is not nearly as heavy as the 10lb ball I normally have to use.  I didn’t hurt my arm or have swollen fingers, even after three fast-paced games.  I just love those people at Nintendo.  I’m even more interested in buying one now that I’ve tried it out.  Here’s to figuring out how to put that in the budget.  (And did I mention…they have Sims?  I really have to have one!)
I’ve been  a total flake on C’s reading homework this week.  We’ve gone through his reading book just once.  It was challenging the first time, so I really needed to be on that this week and it just didn’t happen.  Thankfully, I can keep it until next week so we can work on it some more.  We also have sight words and sound words to work on.  I don’t know if it’s the change in their bedtime that did it, or just daylight savings, but I really just was not in my groove.  Thankfully they didn’t have any other homework this week so I’m only behind with his reading.  We also need to read the last few books we need for Book-It.  We are one of the few families who has actually done it every single month.  I think they get something if they participate the whole year, which will be exciting for C.  We haven’t used all the pizza coupons because Pizza Hut hasn’t been in the budget either, but at least we earned them by reading together.  I was trying to figure it out and I think we did 6 months with a minimum of at least 10 books to earn the free pizza.  We read more some months so I’m guessing we are in the 80 books read range for this school year.  I don’t think that’s too bad!

Anyway, TGIF!  I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.  I know I plan on it!

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Hannah Montana…

Anyone seen it? I have not. Today when I took L shopping for sneakers and a spring coat we ended up with Hannah Montana sneakers. I wasn’t that impressed. For one thing, I know she probably has never seen Hannah Montana. She’s not even old enough, in my opinion, to watch Hannah Montana. For another thing, I know that she just heard the name and figured it was the “cool” thing so she wanted to have it. Considering she’s not quite five yet, I’m not sure how she picked up on Hannah Montana being cool, but she did. So, instead of the cute pink Dora the Explorer velcro sneakers we got black, gold and white Hannah Montana ones that I still have to tie. To add to the coolness, they have a picture of Miley Cyrus on the side. Fabulous.

I have a sneaking suspicion that this is the first of many shopping trips that ends in me being unimpressed with the choices one of the kids makes as they start to assert their independence in regards to their appearance. I’m all for them asserting their independence and choosing how they want to dress, but in this instance when the reality is that she has absolutely no familiarity with the character it irks me that she’d choose it. I suppose I should just be glad that after spending over 2 hours shopping for sneakers we actually found a pair that fit, but I’m not. And, yes, I could have denied her the right to choose which sneakers she wanted. I could have told her it was Dora or nothing. Unfortunately, she had to have something that she liked and that fit. So, if she thinks Hannah Montana is ‘it’ this time around I suppose I can suffer and try not to grimace each time I put them on her skinny little feet.

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School? What’s That?

I was looking at the school calendar today and I’m wondering if they shouldn’t have just given the kids’ the entire month of March off? Today is a 1/2 day for teacher inservice. Next week, shockingly enough, they don’t have any time off. The following week is a 1/2 day Thursday, no school Friday or the following Monday. Then another 1/2 day Friday. Seriously folks, they are supposed to be learning! I know we had vacation time when I was in school, and quite honestly November and December had far more days off, but it certainly seems like they spend an awful lot of time on vacation from school!

And I made a mommy boo-boo today. I completely blanked on the fact that they still have a brown bag lunch on half days (I blanked on the fact that it was a half day too!). So, I didn’t pack a lunch for C this morning. I mean, home at noon, he can eat at home, right? I get there to pick him up and every other kid in class has a brown bag lunch on their desk…EVERY kid! Ack! I apologized to him and he told me he wasn’t hungry when they served lunch. No biggie Mom! Yeah…right! I still feel like the worst mom ever anyway!

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I’m living with a lot of regret right now.  The specifics aren’t really important, but the fact that it’s bearing down on me so hard is making life difficult.  They say that you shouldn’t regret the past because it was exactly what you wanted when you did/said it, but I really believe that I made poor decisions without thinking them through and have forever altered my future in an unappealing way.   The hardest part is that those decisions and actions have affected my children so directly and changed their futures in ways I never imagined.

In the face of all the regret I have decisions to make.  Large decisions that feel like the weight of the world on my shoulders.  Decisions that will again alter and affect the future in ways that I’m not able to predict, though I would think that having learned so much in the last few years I’d make the right decisions this time.    Who is to say what the right decision ever is?  Even deciding which road to take on a small trip to the grocery store could forever alter your future.  It’s just what makes this world so damn unpredictable.

I’m scared that I’ll do the wrong thing.  I’m afraid of what the ramifications will be to those I love.  I’m worried about what others will think (not that I should be, but I am).  I’m terrified that it’s no longer possible to do damage control and make smooth transitions.  I’m just so sad.

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